101 Ways to Fool Voldemort!
by audrey-hamster
Summary: Fred and George Weasley work for the Order's undercover doombringers. They basically bring misfortune to Voldemort by using their products which of course, in the story WILL work 100.


101 ways to ANNOY Voldemort!

Each chapter poses voldemort's plans and what these "mystery twins"( I know who you're guessing...) do to foil his plans! ranges from A TO Z!!!!!!

Ammonium Acid for A Adict!

"Wormtail bring me my wand and a parchment." said Voldemort, in his cold and hoarse voice.

"Ye-yes M-master. But with a parchment d-doesn't i-it a-always g-go with a q-quill?" Peter asked timidly.

" Fool! You think a great magician like me would need a quill to write?! Have you not realised I can do anything I want with a swish of my wand!"

" A-ah y-yes m-master i-i h-have b-been a f-fool..."

" You fear me Wormtail? You fear me? You fear your master? One who has gone through thick and thin with almsot everything and you dare fear me!"

" Well it's b-basically c-cause your p-plans have n-never r-really worked s-so w-well r-right?"

" Wormtial you are dismissed. Go right this very minute or I shall kill you!"

Peter, so frightened and freaked, dropped voldemort's wand and the the parchment and ran away. Voldemort was about to pick up the wand and the parchment when he heard a knock on the door. Who could that be? he though. As he opened it, two hooded figures appearingto have the same height and size appeared.

" Excuse me we realise a great and powerful magician resides in this remote area. Would you care to buy some ammonium acid pills? They giv your enemies a feel of burning, but in reality it really burns damn deep in the lungs, stomach, intestines and finally your ass."

Voldemort was so surprised at the offer that he immediately took out 50 gallons of gold and shoved it to them.

" I'll buy the whole lot" he replied.

Under the hoods were obviously Fred and George weasley, sent by the order to use their pranks to somesort subdue Voldemort. Now Ammonium Acid pills are highly dangerous and these pills were the first pills the twins made. They apparenty tested it on the pigs outside their house and a few days later found that the pigs had or rather painful, red and swollen arses. They couldn't even find a cure so they shoved it in one corner of their bug trunk containing their products of mischeif. Ammonium Acid pills gives off a very powerful, attractive smell that once inhaled you would be tempted to eat it. Honestly speaking the pigs ran to them and the dogs ran wild in the barn and the horses started neighing. that bad. All of them wanted to have a taste of it but under some circumstances, they only tested it on pigs( who knows why?!).

Voldemort lay in a deep sleep. He put the pills under his pillow just incase his stupid servant might steal it( I dunno for wad!). In his dream, he finds himself floating around his bedroom looking for something. He desired that something more than he ever wanted of anything. The smell was unmistakeable. He traced the scent to his pillow. Slowly and carefully he raised it up and took a pill, popped it in his mouth and swallowed it...

"ARGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!" Voldemort shouted. He was, as what the twins mentioned, somewhat 'burning' from the inside and he felt his insides trying to spill out in a possible minute or two. He screamed but tickled his throat and vomitted out the remains of the pill, which, from its original nice sky blue to a crimson blood red. Voldemort looked fearfully at the pill and threw out of the window. The next thing he heard was a bird, somewhat scream-chirping. He thought it was odd and when he took a look through the window, he found a bird, glowing a scary red, and in a few minutes, the bird melted away slowly. Voldemort regretted eating those ammonium acid pills. If he had taken the advice of the twins, he wouldn't have gotten himself nearly killed and the bird killed.

Wormtail ran to his master's bedroom only to find him in a deep sleep. Wormtail thought it was odd, how could his master, one minute be screaming, the next in such a peaceful sleep? But Wormtail was a sstupid git. He ran so slow from his cupboard in the cellar and his fat hands had such trouble unlocking the door that it took him nearly 15 minutes to get to Voldemort. But time passes real fast for a fatty if they run slow...

HOW WAS IT?! i can improve the story more if u guys review ok?

flaming and constructive criticism are allowed! but i will NVR NVR ADD LEMONS TO ALL MY FICS GOT ME...


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